A 20’s New Years Resolution

It’s 2020 now and we’re in our 20’s.

My dad called me and told me that this was the decade of my early adulthood.

“The next decade you’ll be in your thirties.”

Excuse me while my insides tumble.

I have a panoramic view of Downtown Los Angeles in my post-grad apartment.

I bump into families and older gentlemen in the elevator. I’m in work-out clothes and running shoes as they wear baggy jeans and roll around their baby boy in a stroller.

I pass Tesla’s on my way to my Ford Focus.

I’m only an assistant. I get the mail every day.

This is the decade of false maturity, feeling like a child in an adult’s body.

It’s the decade of what if’s and I don’t knows and what could happen.

It’s up in the air while our air is continuing to be polluted.

“I think I could be a lawyer and a doctor, or I don’t know,” says every 20-something I meet.

We all think each step in our life is going to give us clarity.

You pick a major to narrow your focus. You get a degree to cement that focus. Then, you get out into the real world and you find yourself in a windstorm of possibilities.

As an adult, making decisions is a part-time job. What should I have for dinner? Do I order in food or should I actually cook something? Should I take him on a second date? Do I go to grad school? Do I stick with my chosen career? What would happen if I do? What would happen if I don’t?

I’m planning on getting a tattoo that says “let it be.”

I make detailed plans in my head. I take the reins in plans with my friends. But this is only a ploy to stop uncertainty.

The air is polluted by my constant worrying.

If I could just clean the air, breathe, let the dust settle around me, then the future will appear.

Hopefully, the happy life that I read about in fairy-tales will unfold (I also choose optimism in 2020).

“I never thought I’d be in this villa meeting the love of my life and friends I will never forget.”

People knock down Love Island as I mention it for the 10th time.

A stewardess from Essex ended up on a reality tv show and gained 2 million Instagram followers and a boyfriend by the end of the show. The impossible can happen.

But each and every contestant goes on the show and lives with this constant unpredictability.

They put their faith in a process that has flakey results (one could also call that life).

They allow the air to settle as they await to find love.

But that’s just the adventure and the beauty of uncertainty. It’s blind faith and just believing that the wait will be worth it.

My dad and the Buddha also said that the when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I have chosen to start living by that in 2020.

All we can do is our try our best, focus on ourselves, hold our adult heads high, and let life happen.

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