It’s a Friday night, the lights in the restaurant dim low as you sit down, the patchouli candles behind you are lit.
You’re wearing the Chanel #5 that your ex despised.
Your hair is courtesy of DryBar and you purchased your outfit today at a sample sale. You sip your glass of the only wine under 20$ as your 40$ acrylics tap to the beat of the live band in the corner.
You raise your glass high and look across the table.
It’s just you.
You raise your glass higher and you smile. Tears slowly start to drip down your face.
Valentines balloons fill the restaurant and large chocolate hearts burst out of the kitchen. Champagne flutes with dangling hearts distilled in glasses pop out one by one as you debate popping the Xanax in your purse. The table next to you has rose petals that spell I love u because they were too cheap to spell it grammatically.
But it’s just you.
The couple next to you pull out their ID’s to order the champagne on the table, and the waitress scans their ID’s. The two look petrified. The couple next to them who look around your age are arguing about who’s going to pick up Tommy from tee-ball tomorrow. The older couple next to them are both silent on their phones, eyes darting from side to side.
It’s just you.
Your eyes dart to the bar, a tall man with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and a dangerous amount of scruff looks over. You make eye-contact. He raises his glass.
You raise right back.
You cheers to YOU.
You cheers to finding life as an unexplainable random chain of events that left you single & alone on Valentines Day.
Whether it was a long relationship that left you wounded or small ones that left you burned, it has led you to one day.
It’s a day that is created by Hallmark. But it is a day to fully grasp the idea of love, and mostly, self-love.
We are our own Valentines. We are always worthy of balloons and chocolates, today and every day.
Sometimes, we would rather run a mile & avoid See’s. But life is a fucking balance.
Even though we can’t always see ourselves, the mirror tells so much. The mirror follows you through falling deeply in love, falling apart, and finding that love is what you emanate.
“You accept the love you think you deserve.”
When you believe you truly are worthy of love, it hunts you down. It’s raw, it’s unforgiving, and it’s full of ups and downs. It speaks a truth that most of us don’t want to hear.
But love is also the adoration that you give to your family, friends, your doorman, the 5$ to the homeless man down the street.
You put your heart into the universe everyday.
Cheers to you.