8 Realistic and Unrealistic New Years Resolutions

Happy 2021. We fucking did it. Goodbye the shit storm that was 2020.

Thinking about my life, I just had a lot to reflect on as I was crafting my New Years Resolutions and I came up with this list just off the top of my head.

New Years Resolutions 2021:

  1. Sit inside at a restaurant, any restaurant, McDonalds, Burger King, Chic Fil A.
  2. Learn to meditate.
  3. Go to a concert with instruments and a sound system, inside, outside, on the 3rd street promenade, from a Venice homeless man with raggedy dreads who tries to sell you his mixtape.
  4. Try and get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.
  5. Make out with a random man in Pacific Beach, maybe go on a few dates after. He could be a cashier at Arby’s, never finished college, dropped out of his dinky high school in Arkansas and moved to San Diego to be a “model” even though he’s 5’0” or he’s a man that lives on his parents damp, mustard yellow couch in a one-bedroom apartment in Tijuana, or he’s homeless maybe? Living in your front door step at Little Italy? Easy commute? All starting at a dim lit bar with a capacity of more than 10 people.
  6. Stick to a healthy diet and try to exercise 6 times a week.
  7. Go to a bar, inside. I would even step foot into the blue, sand-crusted, black-floored bar of Prince of Whales after graduating from college and retiring from clawing my way to the front of the massive line of undergraduates as belligerent frat boys throw punches, shove their way through the front door, and sing “Yeah” by Usher on stage in-front of the entire school.
  8. Meditate more.

2020, for me, was like a teenage boy growing into his body. I am not a teenage boy, but I did lose around 20 pounds and begin a fitness journey that even Weight Watchers might deem appropriate for their commercial. I moved to San Diego, made new friends, and then gave birth to my beautiful chocolate brown Cockapoo baby. Labor was intensive.

2020 was a year of triumphs and a year of losses. Losing the ability to do anything made it extremely difficult to assimilate to a new environment. I was in tears about feeling misplaced in my new city and then the world evolved and now I feel more at home.

But 2021 has promise. 2021 has grit and tenacity and whit. 2021 has open bars, and random make-outs, and concerts and parties. Hopefully, 2021 has a sense of normality.

I am ready for you 2021, homeless boyfriends and all.

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